


variations on a common theme (darlin')

by constellations (allyoop)



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Doesn't stay dead, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining, Tarsus IV, brief mention of - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-09
Updated: 2014-03-09
Packaged: 2018-01-15 02:53:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1288507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allyoop/pseuds/constellations
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the lovely 'darlin collection' prompt on tumblr.</p><p>Essentially my love letter to Bones and the ubiquitous word of darlin'</p>
            </blockquote>





	variations on a common theme (darlin')

_darlin' tuck in your shirt, darlin' sit up straight, darlin' don't forget to smile_

_\---_

Leonard loved his family; loved every inch of neurosis and charm and hot weather tempers and peachy good kindness. They were a _family_ , and family always meant holding each other up when times got tough, and knowing when to smack in some sense when some sense was needed.  
His mama was the quickest wit and second quickest tongue (surpassed by only his grandmama with the silver tongue), and she always knew when Leonard needed a good push 'cause he wasn't going to take that step himself. He found himself in an Ole Miss hoodie, boxes already unpacked, and kisses being blown behind him before his brain could catch up with his feet and process  _you're starting college Leonard, you're away from home Leonard, you're gonna be a doctor Leonard, don't you dare fail._

Those weren't his family's words knocking around in his head; they were his own. And his mama knew. Saw the fear itching at his edges and so she kissed his cheeks and pulled him close, whispering those familiar  _darlin's_ in his ear. They were nothing he hadn't heard before, but Leonard felt a tight twang in his heart because he wasn't going to hear them again 'til the peaches were all gone and the hot southern air got as cold as it was ever gonna get.

But he survived. Shirt tucked and spine straight, just like his mama said. Leonard graduated top of his class with hopes as high as a kite. His family swarmed him, a throng of smiling faces, every aunt and uncle and cousin thrice removed. Everyone a chorus of d _arlin' you did it!_

\---

Leonard didn't know he could fall so fast. His kite-high hopes hadn't been cut and crashed to the ground. Each sharp pain and sharp word was a blade thrown in the air, until his poor kite had nothing left to keep it aloft. He was alone; more than when he waved that pickup truck goodbye on the green of Ole Miss. More alone than when he woke screaming the night after his father's death. Wife and kid were gone, his house was silent, and his family too wrecked and wrought with grief to try to hold him up as well.

So Leonard left; packed with more flasks than clean shirts, driving towards the only escape he saw. The one that'd take him away from Georgia, away from this earth he once called home.

He didn't think he'd ever hear a  _darlin'_ again.

He didn't think he'd ever deserve it.

\---

Jim was a surprise and a miscalculation. A hurtling ball from left field that Bones, the man once called Leonard, didn't think he could ever catch. He didn't think he was  _supposed_ to be caught. Jim was a flash of sunshine and a deep black hole; a contradiction who worked hard to keep it that way. Leonard had learned things over the years, learned why Jim couldn't sleep at night, why his sobs were always dry, why he'd flinch at a hiss of gas but not at the sight of blood. And the scariest thing he had learned, he could only really guess at. At first he thought he was crazy; the impending Star Fleet graduation was wearing him out and clearly he had caught some rare space fever. But Leonard had seen it before, _hell_ he'd experienced it before, and that was love that he saw in Jim's eyes. Despite his doctor's curiosity, he didn't probe it further, knowing if Jim wanted to share he would have years ago. The closest they've kissed was a shared flask on a shuttle so long ago. If Jim asked, Leonard would have stitched his old cracked heart up and handed it to him with nary a second thought. Damned if Leonard felt jaded and broken; Jim was the only thing that made him feel like that warm Georgia sun was overhead once more. But Leonard was the moon to Jim's sun and so they never touched, but he relished the brief moments when they could share the same sky.

\---

Several bad life decisions and some risky gambles later, Jim was running towards death like a noble idiot, not bothering to make one last call. Bones wouldn't understand and wouldn't forgive. But Jim was not important here, he knew that. Jim was a blip in history. But in this incredible tiny moment, Jim could save the ship and his crew and his  _family_. He could matter.

 _This is why I lived; this is why I survived all those years ago._ He thought. _I lived so that I could die, saving the lives of my family_.

\---

He was cold. They both were. Leonard's legendary hands were shaking and clenching and reaching out to nothing that could respond. Jim was dead.  _Jim was dead_. It was all he could think, all that repeated in an awful chorus in his mind, jeering at him and his failure.  _Jim is dead and I wasn't there. Jim is dead and I couldn't save him. Jim with the darling blue eyes... won't open them again... Please Jim, please darlin', please don't be dead, darlin' I love you please don't be dead._

\---

Leonard's life was nothing but second act twists and he couldn't be happier. With a stout drink and a fresh change of clothes, he felt as steady as the heartbeat he heard blipping on the monitor. Jim was alive and Leonard was there, waiting for him to wake.

He was calm even with the rush of emotions keeping him awake like no caffeine could ever accomplish. The figurative step had already been taken; Jim's death had been the horrible push Leonard needed. He wasn't going to let him go now, not ever. He had whispered soft words as Jim was under his care,  _darlin' I love you, keep breathing, keep living. Come back to me, darlin', let me say I love you when you can tell me too._ Leonard wanted Jim to see him as he spoke, the bright smile and clear eyes of a man telling the truth. He wanted Jim to know he was serious and he was sure. He wanted Jim to say aloud what his eyes always hinted. 

But for now Leonard watched the slow rhythm of Jim's sleeping breaths and waited for his friend, his family, his darlin' to wake up.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are appreciated :)


End file.
